One thing that any reader of my blog, or follower on social media, may notice is that I really don’t delve into my personal dating life in public forums. Mostly because it really isn’t anyone else’s business.
But I wanted to share a story that happened to me between myself and the girl who recently dumped me, and use it as a way for other people to learn that whatever you put into dating is what you should get in return.
I am a very open person, and if the person I am dating asks me a question, I generally don’t have a problem answering…because if you can’t trust the person you are dating, then you probably shouldn’t be dating them.
With this girl I was about 90% open, but that last ten percent was never going to happen until she opened up to me.
Yet when I’d ask her questions that I felt was relevant to our relationship, she’d say “I don’t think we are ready for that” or “I don’t like to talk about that, because it can drive people away”.
Now those excuses and reasons are all well and good…but she would constantly tell me “just be yourself and fully open with me”.
This hypocritical-ness cannot exist in a healthy relationship and be expected for everything to be okay long term. If you want the other person to open up and feel 100% comfortable with you, then you need to at least put 75-80%+ into it, and give them back the same things you are asking for.
Am I bitter that I was dumped? Not really. She did what she needed to do, regardless of stringing things along for six weeks.
I just wish I hadn’t wasted my time and money on someone that couldn’t just be themselves around me.